Maddy Prior's Little Trip Out
The Big A
I want to go with Alzhiemers
But I want to go all the way
No lucid moments to frighten and betray
I want to be lost in a bliss of forgetting
Walking the land of my childhood drems
Unaware of my pitiful plight
Unaware of what anything means
Others will have to deal with the problem
Others will have to take care of me
Others will have the pain of my going yet still alive
But not me
I’ll be away with the fairies
Pissing and singing with glee
Away in the land of Never never
None of it troubling me.
Dreams of childhood are in the specifics:
Cadbury penny chocolate bars
and railway-sleeper unmade roads
wandered along by school children
in shifting hierarchical gangs.
The fat boy embarrassed by the presence of his mother
the sole parent at the gate.
The authoritarian lollipop lady by the main road.
A prefab school at the edge of fields
Not too far to go for nature lessons
The pond with newts and water boatmen
Boys and girls in separate playgrounds
French knitting, marbles, skipping, football
Kiss chase on the cut grass smell in summer
They never catch me, Mum
Then you must run slower
Isn’t that cheating?
She smiles and looks sad.
Cat-fighting with Ann Hinkley, a friend on some days
Playing horses and using a clothes prop as a jump
Go out and play!
Wandering the estate looking for anyone
All in having tea.
Go to play with Diana
She has a rocking horse and an orchard
and fuscias grow in her garden
they live in a detached house with a grumpy granddad
and she has lots of lego
Go to play with Marilyn
She had a rabbit but the cat got it
She had to jobs in her house, like the washing up.
She tells me that she hates drying forks
We are discouraged from getting in the way in our house
and I am envious of this adult knowledge
and remember it
every time I dry forks.
Dressing up in diamond daring frocks
to spin in spangles light
Bolting brandy that unlocks
the demon duende in flight
Smashes and grabs
with all it’s maddened might
the delicate moment and stabs
it. Hoping to fulfil
something neath the strobes.
But then a chill
Nowhere to hide
from those eyes that stare still
in the wide
Then stomach slides into the bowels it slides
and the mind makes Ho Hum
hold on, hold on
don’t abandon your song
hold it tight hold on
Get out of the way!
Let it roll on
Let your mind fracture and scatter away.
Open your mouth! Let muscle sing.
Make yourself obey
THE SHOW MUST GO ON!
That’s the thing
Just get through tonight
and no one will think
you have stage fright
Weird, weird,weird being me
Misrepresented, told about me
You believe you know me
Well, maybe you do
I’m just a shadow in the eye of you
You see me from the outside
I see me from within
You see me as outsize
I see me as thin
I am such a jolly fellow
I am such a sad clown
I am dressed in red and yellow
Happy when I’m down
Give me flowers and plaudits
Shame me in the street
Show me how this cap fits
Tell me where we’ll meet
We Go Back
My friend, my lover
become more like a brother
We look after each other
Not marriage material,
a shit sit-com serial
The kids sigh wearily
Observing so clearly
Love them so dearly
We go back a long way
Songs by Maddy Prior
Arranged, engineered, mixed and produced
by Alex Kemp
at Squirrel Studios
Bass and backing vocals on We Go Back by Rick Kemp
Mastered by Sean Joseph at Optimum Mastering.
Enquiries and sales; firstname.lastname@example.org